Remove All Doubt from My Mind
by Believe4Ever
Summary: Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Their ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before. This is a tale of sacrifice and the anguish that plagued the U.S.S. Enterprise following the untimely death of one of the most important people on the ship.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. So, this is my first Trek fan fiction. I've seen the two movies recently and fell in love, and already these ideas for fan fictions crept into my head. I've been writing furiously to try to get my ideas down and I hope you all enjoy reading them! There are a few mentions of STID in it, but not enough to really give away any spoilers (if there would be a spoiler I would warn you beforehand). Now I do ship Spirk, so there will be a few hints of it here and there but there won't be any direct slash. I hope you enjoy! Please review.**

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_BREEP! BREEP! BREEP!_

Captain James Tiberius Kirk moaned as he rolled over in his bed and smacked the alarm clock. Even with several centuries of technological advancements since the alarm clock was invented, it was still being used to wake people up with the sickeningly annoying noise, inflicting sour moods on those that it awoke. The captain rolled back over and curled up into the fetal position under his sheets, drawing the blankets up to his chin and trying to block out the artificial light that automatically flicked on when the alarm sounded.

He had just started to drift off again when he heard the whoosh of his room's door open.

"Captain, it is time for you to get up."

Jim let out another moan when he heard his first officer Spock speak to him in his usual professional manner.

"Spock, it's five in the morning," Jim groaned as he peeked out from the blanket's protective shielding. Spock, a half-human-half-Vulcan commander on the Enterprise, was standing straight without even a hint of a slouch. His hands were folded behind his back respectfully and he was wearing his usual blue jacket, signifying his position on the ship.

"That it is, Captain."

"I want to sleep in."

"That wouldn't be recommended."

"And why not?"

"Today is the start of the mission to investigate Klextrius Crutogatory 7."

"What?" Jim's thoughts were always muddled early in the morning and the words barely registered in his mind, let alone translated into information he already knew.

"We must investigate the Baykon race in their seventh planet in the Crutogatory quadrant."

"Yeah . . . Right . . . Why are we doing that again?"

"Because it is rumored that the Baykons are working on a new line of weapons that could be powerful enough to wipe out an entire fleet."

"Right . . . and we're going in . . . fleet-less."

"Captain there is an eighty-six point five percent chance that the Baykons have not finished their weapons of mass destruction. We would only have to worry about their simplistic guns if they manage to find out we have infiltrated their military development base."

Jim sighed. "And this is why I can't sleep in?"

"Affirmative."

The captain groaned again and sat up, revealing his shirtless chest. He looked up at Spock, who stood unfazed at seeing his superior half naked. "Fine. I'll be on the Bridge in twenty minutes."

"It takes you only nine point three minutes to finish getting ready."

"Fine! Fifteen minutes."

Spock nodded and left the captain's quarters and a very annoyed captain glaring at his back.

()()()

Approximately seventeen and a half minutes later, Jim strolled through the door into the main command nucleus of the entire Enterprise starship, dressed in a freshly cleaned yellow jacket. There were people using computers that controlled nearly every single part of the ship with the simple click of a button. Only three colors of jackets were in this room: red, blue, and yellow, just like the rest of the ship.

"Captain on the Bridge," Chekov announced, his thick Russian accent impairing some of the words. He had curly blonde hair and wore a yellow jacket.

"You are late," Spock commented as he approached the captain. Jim just grinned and glanced at him.

"By how long?"

"Two point seven minutes."

Jim laughed as he settled into his captain's chair, a revolving chair made of black and white leather that had a wonderful cushion support. When he saw the slight confusion in his friend's face from his random laugh it only made him chuckle more. He always enjoyed having the Vulcan spew out statistics for useless reasons, though the Vulcan didn't seem to understand it.

"Sir, this is of great importance."

"The Baykon investigation? Spock we don't have to have a certain time parameter around this."

"Oh, yes you do," Uhura interjected, seeming to appear out of thin air. She had dark skin and long brown hair that she kept pulled up in a tight ponytail. She wore a red jacket.

"Where did you come from?" He looked around his chair as if she sprung from a secret compartment.

Ignoring the question, she pressed on, "Sir, according to our sources the Baykons have been working on these weapons for well over a year. While it's doubtful that they have finished the weapons, if we wait much longer it could be possible that they could hit a breakthrough or they could improve their security in fear that someone will try to investigate them, as we are trying to do now."

"Then they would have good intuition."

She let out a small annoyed noise and rolled her eyes, which only made Jim grin further. Then she turned away from him completely, and instead faced Spock. She smiled and leaned up, giving him a light kiss across his lips before going back to her station.

"Must you two do that every time you see each other?" Jim muttered as he turned away.

"She is the one who insists on showing affection in a public proximity, Captain. If you disapprove of it I could bring it up with her and request she stop doing it on so many occasions."

"No, no . . . if you do that then she'll just come back and yell at me about it." He sighed and spun in his chair for one revolution, like a child who had just discovered a chair with wheels. When he was done with his brief entertainment he stopped his chair. "Mr. Chekov, please bring up the briefing of the Baykon investigation for review."

"Yes, sir," the Russian answered, bringing up the file on the front windshield.

The file included a picture of a Baykon, a diagram of their planet, a map of their military development base, and additional information that was vital for the mission.

A Baykon is a creature with a reptilian make up. It wasn't quite as tall as the average human, being just a couple inches taller than five feet. The species had a thin frame and seemingly frail arms when in fact they were strong enough to lift something twice their size. Their dress was futuristic even by Star-Fleet's standards: spiked leather clothing with large shoulder pads and so much reflective material that they could be seen in a black hole. Their skin was a deep forest green with scales that encased every visible piece of flesh. Their head was like that of a gecko's with its flat and lean face and bulging eyes. Overall they looked like a lizard dressed in tin foil.

Their planet, entitled Klextrius, was similar to that of Mars: smaller than Earth, red, and seems like it's always angry. There wasn't much overall on the planet since only certain areas has breathable air; the rest of it was full of pollutants and poison.

The military development base was extremely complicated in its design. There were three floors: the first floor, the sub floor, and the basement. From their surveillance Star-Fleet has come to the conclusion that the first floor is for general training and building up their army's strength. The sub floor is used for research on different weapons from other planets and the ideas from other sources about weapons that could possibly be built. The basement, which was actually a floor even larger than the two previous floors, was deep below ground. It was divided into several different divisions with different purposes such as medicinal research, weapons development, and bio-weapon technology research. The last purpose hadn't been confirmed yet and it was a big reason why they were conducting the investigation.

"When are we scheduled to conduct this investigation since our _time parameter _is not at all lenient?" Jim asked with his sarcasm directed at Uhura. The communications specialist ignored it.

"It is advised that we leave as soon as possible, Captain," Spock answered.

"Then let's get a move on." Jim tried to hide his sigh. "I'm excited to be the guinea pig escaping _into_ into a bio-weapons testing lab."

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**So this is the first chapter. I hope I stayed true to the characters. I also hope you enjoyed reading. I'm working on the next chapter already and it should be posted very soon. Reviews are very much appreciated since I have no idea how well I write Trek fictions . . . Please review with your opinion of the story!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who reviewed already! I'd really like it if I got new reviews, either from other people or those who have reviewed before. I'd really like to know what you guys think of this next chapter, especially since there's a bit more interaction. Well, please read, enjoy, and review.**

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Jim and Spock were fitted with a new gravity suit. Klextrius had stronger gravity than the typical planet so they wouldn't be able to move as quickly or as agile whereas since the Baykons have lesser body weight they'd move around just fine. The gravity suit is designed to counteract the heavy gravity and give them the same feeling as moving around on earth.

Along with the suit they were given a couple ear pieces that acted at communicators. Normally this type of technology wasn't used unless they were wearing a helmet but everyone agreed that they could try out the prototypes on this mission.

They were also equipped with some laser guns that could be set to stun or kill. "Try your best to not kill anyone," Bones had advised, a serious look on his face. "In fact, try not to stun either. Just stay out of sight."

Jim slipped the gun into its holster and stepped up onto the transporters next to Spock. "You ready?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Start 'er up."

Scotty gave them a thumbs-up as he input the coordinates. "You should appear in the sub-floor where no one is around."

"Last time you said that we appeared in the middle of Nero's army."

"Well I have schematics this time! Give me a chance!"

Jim gave a grin and nodded to the Scotsman. Soon light particles were swirling around them, faster and faster as they began to disappear from the Enterprise. The captain managed to catch a glimpse of his first officer before they disappeared and reappeared in a dark empty room.

The walls around them were made of sleek steel and they were surrounded by wooden crates, each stamped with various languages of multicolored ink.

"These must be machine parts they are studying," Spock observed in a low voice as he looked around. "They've shipped items from as far as the Mekington galaxy."

"Fascinating. Let's get through with this."

Jim headed towards the door exiting the room when Sulu's voice suddenly came on in the ear piece: "Captain, wait. We don't know if any of the Baykons are on patrol. You have to stay out of sight."

The captain rolled his eyes. "Well what do you suggest we do, Mr. Sulu?"

"We can try to tap into the base's surveillance system so we can have eyes around the whole facility."

"You know that will take too long. We have to do this quickly, as Lieutenant Uhura had said."

"Don't be talking like I'm trying to send you to your death, Captain," Uhura chimed in with the annoyance obvious in her voice. "You can wait a while in that room."

"It's dangerous, Lieutenant. A Baykon can come in at any moment."

Spock took this opportunity to add, "That's not likely to happen, Captain."

Jim turned toward his first officer slowly, giving off a look that was all to known around the ship: _Leave this to me and don't speak, will you?_

"But, Captain," the Vulcan continued anyway, "The likelihood that a Baykon happens to walk into this room is next to nothing—"

His voice was cut off by the sliding of the room's door. They turned to find a reptilian man standing at the door, looking stunned. The shock quickly subsided and the Baykon whipped out its laser, sending a shot straight at Jim. The captain's scream erupted in the echoing room louder than the shot had been.

()()()

"Captain! _Captain!_" Uhura cried at the scream.

"Jim's vitals just cut out!" Bones gasped as he watched his captain's bodily information disappear from the screen. "Was he terminated? What happened!"

"I don't know!" Chekov stammered as he tried to search for his captain once more. "I can't find a trace of them! That gun had some kind of signal emitted . . ."

"Communications are down," Uhura announced, turning in her chair toward the rest of the crew.

Sulu looked down at his screen. "We still have Spock's vitals." Uhura couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"There's no way to get word to them?" Bones growled. Uhura shook her head.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there's something blocking the signal to communicate with them. We can't beam them up either."

"Try to find some way around it." He stared at the captain's readings for vitals which, of course, were nothing. "Dammit, Jim. Why do you have to be so reckless . . .?"

()()()

"What was that about next to nothing chance?" Captain Kirk moaned as he pulled himself to his feet. The stunned Baykon lay unmoving on the floor and Spock's gun was still warm from use.

"Are you all right, Captain?"

"Yeah, I'm fine . . . But we need to move fast. I don't know if there's surveillance in this place but if there is a bunch of Baykons are going to be on their way down here."

Spock nodded and guarded the door as Jim dragged the Baykon away and behind a few crates. When he was done they both ran out into the hall, guns drawn.

"The power in their shots is strong!" Jim called over the slapping of their shoes against the tile floor. "But it's not lethal; it doesn't even stun. What kind of weapons are they using?"

"It's probably a lower level gun used in order to torture their captives rather than killing or bringing them to a certain location."

"Thank you Mr. Spock!" He was grateful for the information but his voice ended up sounding sarcastic.

"Is something wrong, sir?"

"No, Spock, just keep running!"

It wasn't long before they had fled down the stairs into the basement. They had ended up stunning more than two dozen Baykons and continued to run without thinking otherwise.

"Captain, we were supposed to move with caution and not be seen!"

Jim let out a groan. "Well it certainly seems as if that won't be happening, does it? Now where is this great bio-weapon?"

Spock had studied the floor's schematics the night before and kenw exactly where to go. He sped up, taking the lead in front of his superior and leading down the hall, through twists and turns until finally they arrived at a larger door that required a passkey to get in.

"We were going to get the code from the Bridge before our communications were shut down," Spock explained as he examined the lock on the door.

"Move aside, Spock. I've got this."

The Vulcan did as asked and for a moment he was extremely intrigued. He never really thought of his captain as someone to be able to crack a code, especially under such pressure. He watched with curiosity to find out how his superior planned to open the door.

Jim took out his gun and changed the setting from stun to kill. He took aim at the door and fired a continuous blast, which melted the a hole large enough for both of them to climb through in just a matter of seconds.

Spock sighed. "Ever creative, captain."

"I thought you'd appreciate it."

They climbed through and were met with a room twice the size of the Bridge. There were guns lining the walls of different sizes and shapes but they all had a tiny glass compartment sticking out the top of it holding a red liquid. At the center of the room was a large cylindrical glass container with the same red liquid as the guns on the wall, which was slowly filling up from multiple tubes. The tubes extended out and each one was attached to a different metal table, of which they all circled the container. On each table was what appeared to be a human; at least, it wasn't a Baykon.

There was one Baykon, however, who was dressed in a lab coat. It was staring startled at them as they approached. Jim quickly searched him visually and didn't see any weapons on his person.

"What is this thing?" the captain demanded, pointing to the container. "What are you doing to these people? Are they human?"

"Um, y-you're not supposed to be here . . ." the scientist stuttered, backing up against the cylinder.

"Answer me." Jim pointed the gun at him. "I'm trigger happy, as you can tell by the door."

"Sir, this isn't supposed to be how the mission goes," Spock murmured. Jim ignored him and instead walked forward towards the Baykon.

The scientist raised its hands in surrender. "Okay, please, don't shoot! Y-Yes, they're humans . . ."

"What are these tubes doing to them?"

"They're . . . They're draining the humans of their blood."

The captain's face drained a little. "What . . .? Why? Why are you doing this?"

"It's our research . . . We're using the blood of these humans to turn it into the perfect laser fuel."

Jim could feel his breathing getting heavier. "You mean . . . You're using them . . . You're _killing _them . . . to make a bio-weapon . . .?"

The Baykon gulped and gave a faint nod.

Jim could feel his emotions starting to get riled up. He could feel his heart start to beat faster. Somehow the Baykons had gotten a hold of humans and were killing them by draining out their blood—a terribly slow and painful process—just so they could create some perfect laser?

"That's it? You're using them to make some stupid fuel?!" His voice was loud and harsh, anger lacing each word like venom. It made the scientist flinch.

"N-Not only fuel . . . medicine too, but we doubt it would work well . . ."

"You're killing them." Jim started creeping forward, hand tightening on the gun and finger twitching on the trigger. "You've probably killed many to get that amount of blood. Thousands, right? Close to a million yet?"

"Captain, you're becoming emotionally unstable," Spock advised. "Please step down."

"Shut up, you Vulcan!" Jim barked, his eyes not leaving the Baykon. "You are going to pay, you reptile. You're going to pay for all the lives that you've taken."

"Please, stop!" the scientist cried, his lizard's tongue flickering. "Don't take me prisoner, please. I've heard what you Star-Fleet lot do; I don't want to be thrown in a cell!"

"Oh, don't worry." Jim's voice had grown dark and his eyes were flaring. "You won't become a prisoner."

Just as the Baykon's eyes were starting to twinkle with a lifted spirit, Kirk's finger pulled the trigger which sent out the deadly shot, killing the scientist instantly.

"Captain." Spock's voice was hard and sharp. Jim looked back up at his first officer, angry tears lacing the rims of his eyelids.

"He was murdering innocent people, Spock."

"Your emotions have been compromised. You should have thought of this logically."

"Logic isn't always the core of everything! Sometimes emotions are needed to know what's right."

"Emotions aren't necessary to be logical, Captain."

"But they sure do help express how I feel in a given situation." They stared at each other for a moment, just eye-to-eye. Spock could easily sense his captain's anger and his eyes showed the malice that was buried deep inside as well.

"But, Captain, I don't understand. Emotions aren't needed; the Vulcan race is enough proof of that."

"Emotions show you care. If everyone on this ship was a robot like yourself then most of us would be dead, don't you think?"

For a moment confusion crossed Spock's face as he studied his captain. Since he was partly human he was fully aware of the emotions that course through his body every day. He knew what such emotions could do. They had once made him angry enough to want to kill. Twice they had. But his other Vulcan half had always ensured he could bury these emotions deep down so they could never be shown. He had been taught at a very early age that emotions were illogical and that general knowledge was the only thing needed to make wise decisions. Although even after being shown several examples where this wasn't entirely true, he could never bring himself to abandon his Vulcan ways. It always intrigued him with how much emotion affected full-blooded humans in their day-to-day lives, even with the smallest of things.

"Come on, we're done here. We have to keep moving." Without waiting for Spock's response, the captain continued back towards the gaping hole in the door.

"Shouldn't we check if the humans are alive, Captain?"

"No, they're dead. You can tell by their eyes."

Spock looked back at the humans and saw that all their eyes were wide eyed, staring at the ceiling, unblinking. They were glassy and filled with tears but none of them had a spark of life inside.

_When on the edge of death, many emotions are played in a human's mind, _Spock recalled as he slowly turned back to follow his captain. _There is anger, confusion, loneliness, and fear. But deep down there is also a certain sadness . . . Why else would there be tears? But why is there such sadness that comes with death . . .?_

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**Well, there's the second chapter. More emotional, but not heartbreaking. More like venturing into the uncharted mind of James T. Kirk. Reviews are very much appreciated and I'd love to know what you all think about how I'm writing and how you felt while reading. Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter has a little more of the reader's emotional aspect to it. I hope you guys enjoy and read. Reviews are also greatly appreciated!**

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As Spock stepped out into the corridor with Jim, an alarm suddenly started to blare; a loud, ear-splitting alarm that could make them writhe from the pain of the noise.

"Why are they sounding an alarm _now?!_" Jim screamed over the cacophony as he took off running.

Spock quickly ran after him, easily keeping up the pace. "It is likely that they knew that we were only stunning their men so they thought we weren't much of a threat, but now that we've seen their bio-weapon and killed one of their own, they want to get their revenge."

The captain spotted a few militant Baykons run into the room they had just escaped from. "Why are they going back there if they know we're running?"

"The best choice is that they are probably retrieving those weapons we had seen on the walls."

"Right . . . They're going to try out their new fuel." He bit his tongue to keep from spewing out more angered words.

Spock caught sight of shadows approaching on the upcoming wall. He reached out and grabbed Jim's arm, pulling him into a side room. "We must take a detour to stay out of the way of danger, Captain. I know we can get to the stairs if we cut through these labs."

"Wait, wait a minute Spock . . ." Jim slipped out of his first officer's grip as he noticed a piece of paper on one of the desks.

"Captain, this isn't the time. We must leave immediately or face impending death."

"I said _wait a minute!_" He quickly skimmed the contents of the paper. "Spock, this is that medicinal theory that the Baykon was talking about before. The medicine made with human blood . . ."

"Captain, please. We have to leave."

Jim gave a small nod and folded up the paper, slipping it into his pocket. "Let's go."

Spock found the stairs easily and ran up them, two at a time. Jim wasn't as agile and got slower on the stairs, but quickly tried to catch up with his first officer. Whenever they caught sight of a Baykon they would stun it before it could try to shoot them.

"I'm out of juice!" Captain Kirk shouted just as they emerged onto the ground floor.

The Vulcan nodded. "We are nearing the exit. It's straight down this hall; run ahead so I can stun our enemies if they begin to catch up to us from behind. The communication should start up soon after we get into open air."

Jim did as asked, pushing further ahead. His side began to hurt and he clenched it, digging his fingers into his abdomen, trying to fight the ache. He couldn't stop or slow down in a situation like this; he had to keep going.

Finally they emerged out of the building and continued sprinting down the dry ground. They ran, their legs hurdling them across the barren landscape. Dirt kicked up around their ankles.

"Sir, two Baykons are still following," Spock informed. Jim risked a glance back to see that the Vulcan was accurate. The two Baykons were running equally as fast as them. They were carrying larger guns that had the container of blood attached to the top.

"They have prototypes for their bio-weapon!" he shouted, turning back forward.

"Communications are still disconnected. We have to keep running until the Enterprise can transport us back on board."

Jim bit his lip hard. His side was burning and was becoming unbearable. He didn't know how much longer he could run before he—

The captain suddenly found himself flying forward. His body hit the ground with a hard enough impact to force the air out of his lungs and he slid, rocks ripping up the front of his gravity suit and digging into his skin. A disgruntled shout came from within him as pain clawed at his chest. Spock, who had still been running full speed, dashed past him and tried to skid to a stop. "Captain!"

The Baykons came to a stop almost immediately, seemingly able to have better control over momentum. The one that was bigger by about half an inch smiled contentedly and pointed his gun at Kirk. Jim turned his head, trying to get a gasp of air into his body when he found the gun being pointed at him. His mouth opened as if he was about to shout something when the reptilian man pulled the trigger.

Jim squeezed his eyes shut; expecting to feel a blast of pain hit him, but felt nothing. Instead he heard a choked exclamation of agony in a tone that was all too familiar. The captain's eyes popped open to find Spock standing over him protectively, body arched over him like a tent; then the Vulcan's knees buckled and he collapsed sideways onto the ground, his gun slipping from his fingers.

"SPOCK!" Kirk hollered, eyes widening in shock, disbelief, and anger. He found the Baykons looking a touch surprised but also satisfied to already have one of the intruders taken down.

_Bad mistake, _Jim growled to himself as he snatched up Spock's gun. He clicked it to the kill setting without even thinking about it and firing off two rounds before they could even blink.

The Baykons lay on the ground, weapons discarded from their dead hands and lifeless eyes staring into nothing. Jim pulled himself up from the ground and turned his attention back to his first officer. The Vulcan lay crumpled on the ground, dust blown over his unmoving body. Jim quickly turned him over, discovering a burned hole in Spock's jacket in the center of the chest and an angry red spot on his skin, but no blood or wound to be seen.

"Spock. Spock, answer me." Jim knelt over his first officer, his friend. "Answer me, that's an order!"

But the Vulcan didn't respond. He barely even breathed, though there was the ever slight rise and fall of the man's chest. Jim clutched his hand, murmuring over and over, begging the man to at least open his eyes, but he didn't respond.

"Captain. Captain!" Chekov's voice finally crackled through the communicator. Lines must be back up. It took Jim a moment to realize that the Russian was speaking to him. "Captain, do you read me?"

"Beam us up!" he cried, nearly choking on the sob that had built up in his throat. His hands gripped Spock's jacket, the blue never seeming so lifeless. "Do it now, dammit!"

Almost instantaneously, white light furled around them, circulating faster and faster as their bodies began to disappear from the planet's surface. Jim stared down at Spock and felt all the emotion that the Vulcan had always found illogical welling inside of him.

As they appeared back on the Enterprise Jim looked up and barked at the nearest person, "Get McCoy up here; _now!"_

Not bothering to wait for confirmation, the captain looked back at his first officer. "Spock . . . Spock, you gotta listen to me, you heartless robot. Open your eyes; please."

But Spock still didn't obey the demand and stayed motionless. Jim's knuckles were turning white from clutching Spock's shoulders when Doctor McCoy finally rushed in with some of the medical crew.

"Jim! You okay?" Bones asked immediately as he approached. As soon as he saw Spock he knew that he was incorrect and that Jim wasn't the one in need of a medical bed. He didn't wait for his friend to correct him. Instead he and the rest of the nurses hoisted Spock up onto a transportation gurney. The nurses rushed the Vulcan out of the room and toward the Medical Bay while Bones traveled slower with his captain.

"Jim, what happened down there?" the doctor hissed as they followed the gurney quickly. "First we lose your vitals and thought you were dead and then communication blows out before the Vulcan could describe what was happening!"

The captain gulped. "Is he going to be okay, Bones?"

"We don't know; we don't even know what's wrong with him. Give us some answers, Jim. What happened to the guy?"

Jim's breathing was getting shaky. "We were on the surface investigating the Baykons, like we were supposed to. We ended up getting caught and we tried to be diplomatic . . . But there was a misunderstanding. We tried to escape but then the communications weren't working so you couldn't beam us up. We were almost gone. There was only a couple still tailing us . . . a-and . . ." His voice was starting to crack.

"Spit it out, man!"

"I tripped. I tripped and was dead meat. I turned in time to see Spock step in front of me just before they shot at me." The captain stopped walking and his hands balled into fists. "He took the shot for me, Bones. It should've been me. I should've been the one to get hit."

"Jim, listen to me. It's better this way. What's the Enterprise without a captain?"

"It was _close proximity, _Bones!" Jim's voice was rising in volume. "It wouldn't have been as bad for me if I had been hit!"

"Don't be talking like that, Jim. It would've been just as bad and the Enterprise would be without a captain!"

"You and me both know that Spock would make a better captain than me," he muttered, bitterness spitting out of his mouth.

Bones stepped in front of Jim, gripping his shoulders. "Listen to me. You're the best goddamn captain this ship has ever seen. You have morals, you know what's right, and you won't give up unless everyone survives. Now that machine knows rules, he won't lie, and maybe he is possible of the slightest essence of feeling. But he couldn't choose to save one person if the probability of the outcome was less than ten percent. You could. You'd try. And that's why you're better than anyone."

Jim stared at Bones and for a moment his heart lifted, even just a bit, hearing the motivational speech. But then it just sunk right back down. He gave a slight shake of his head. "I wish I had just gotten shot, Bones."

The doctor ground his teeth and pulled the captain into a side room, one that was normally someone's bedroom but was currently empty.

"Bones, what are you—"

He was suddenly cut short by a fist colliding with his face, sending him twirling like a ballerina before falling to the ground. "Ow! That hurt, you know!" He rubbed his jaw, feeling pain sprout through his face.

"Did it at least knock that kernel of sense back into that teeny brain of yours?" he demanded, crossing his arms. "Honestly, you're more oblivious than a blind space-shark passing over a Star-Fleet ship!"

"_What _did I say about using metaphors?" Jim pulled himself to his feet, moving his jaw to make sure it still worked properly. "What the hell do you mean by a kernel of sense?"

"Jim. _Listen to me._ I've been your friend since we joined Star-Fleet."

"I know. You were talking about my eyeballs bleeding."

"And I saved you from that a few times. Look, the point is, I know you probably better than anyone. Maybe Spock does too. But I know damn well that you aren't like this. You're sympathetic, empathetic, merciful, and a great person. But you're not the kind of person to blame themselves for something they had no control over. I want you to stop this, right now. Do you honestly think that Spock would blame you if he was awake right now?"

Jim was silent for a long while as he digested his scolding. Finally he swallowed and shook his head. "No." His voice was so quiet it was nearly nonexistent. "He wouldn't. He would spit out some statistics of my survival versus his and insist that it was the best outcome of the situation."

"Exactly. That's what he would do. And he wouldn't stand around blaming himself if you had ended up getting shot, either. He'd make sure you pulled through."

"I'm not a doctor, Bones."

"That's right, you're not. I am. And I'm going to do my best to get that stupid Vulcan to open his eyes."

Jim gave a breathy laugh and a slight smile played across his face. "Thanks, Bones. Much appreciated."

"You bet it's much appreciated. Now come on, they're going to need their head doctor with them." The doctor glanced at his captain's attire. "And get changed out of your gravity suit. Having artificial earth gravity when you're on an air ship with automatic gravity adjustment can be seriously damaging to your health."

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**And that concludes this chapter. I'm sure you have some kind of reaction to this chapter, some kind of opinion. Please share it with me and comment on the story. Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is shorter. I think the next one will be relatively the same length. But the more reviews I get the more motivation is poured into me! Please read, enjoy, and comment.**

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Tears filled Jim's eyes as he watched Bones and the rest of the nurses and doctors work on Spock. He had done as Bones had requested and changed from his gravity suit into his normal outfit. Meanwhile they had stripped down his jacket and undershirt, leaving him bare-chested. Already in less than fifteen minutes Spock had become frightfully pale. The nurses hooked him up to a few machines, monitoring heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and a number of other things. His heartbeat was constant but his breathing was almost nonexistent.

"Blood pressure is dropping," one nurse informed him as she hooked his arm up to an IV. A clear liquid began to pump into his bloodstream.

"Heart rate normal but breathing is low," informed another. Bones ordered someone to hook him up to an oxygen tank.

Jim bit his lip as they slipped the oxygen mask over the Vulcan's nose and mouth. His chest rose higher as the machine forced more oxygen to enter his body. The breathing rate immediately rose to normal levels but Jim knew that it was just the machine doing the work. What if they got him stable but when they removed the mask it all ended?

"Scanning for pollutants," a middle aged doctor announced as he pressed a few buttons. A hologram of Spock's bio-structure appeared as a thin ray scanned his body. Suddenly red lines appeared spreading throughout the body, starting at the center of his chest.

_That's where he was hit, _Jim thought with guilt washing over him again.

As the medical crew continued to try to identify what exactly was in the Vulcan, Uhura entered the observation room, worry in her tear stained eyes. "How is he?" she whispered as she approached the window with the captain. He quickly blinked the tears from his eyes.

"Stable, so far," Jim answered, the relief noticeable in his voice.

"That's good . . ." She looked over at her superior and noticed the guilt that shone in his eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Jim."

"Sure it was."

"No, it wasn't. It was Spock's decision. At least, from what I hear . . ."

"Exactly. You weren't there." He forced himself to gulp down the anger that threatened to creep into his voice. "If I hadn't tripped, none of this would've happened."

"You were running for your lives. You stumbled. It could've happened to anyone."

"Not to him." The tears replenished in his eyes and he turned his body naturally so she wouldn't see them. "He wouldn't have tripped."

"Captain—"

"You know it's true. He's so damn perfect."

"Sir, please—"

"He's just a robot, someone who can't feel the simplest of emotions and can't even care about the people who care about him!"

"Sir—"

"He didn't even care when his own planet was destroyed! He just turned his cheek when his mother was killed! What kind of son is that? Just like a stupid Vulcan who can't feel the slightest thing and isn't able to feel love or any form—"

"James!"

Jim stopped talking and finally looked back at her. Tears were filled in her eyes, a couple escaping and drifting down her dark cheek. The captain replayed what he had said exactly back in his head. He realized how hurtful it was. He had called his closest friend an emotionless robot who couldn't love; who didn't care that most of his race had been wiped out. That was harsh for anyone.

"I'm sorry, Uhura," he murmured, looking down. "I just . . ."

"I know." She let out a sigh and looked back at the doctors working on Spock. "It's all right."

They stood together for a moment, just watching as the doctors tried to figure out what had been done to the laser that hit Spock to put him in such a condition.

"Doctor, we have a match!" one of the nurses called from her computer. Bones rushed over, leaning in to read what was on the computer. "It's astounding . . . It's human blood, just normal human blood. Only a couple drops of a rare poison only found on Klextrius planets in the Crutogatory quadrant was mixed in. You wouldn't think it would be that lethal but it has horrid effects, especially on species that aren't completely human, like Mr. Spock."

"What about the antidote? Do we know how to make the antidote?" The franticness in Bones' voice was all too obvious.

"We're not entirely sure, sir . . ."

"Try to. Experiment. Just get to making it. Complete it as soon as you can."

Bones split the team up. Those with better healing capabilities and knowledge with medicines went to make the antidote whereas those who were more skilled in life sustaining stayed with him to keep Spock on life support.

Hours passed. Eventually the doctors who were working on Spock took shifts, trying to get in at least a couple hours worth of sleep. Even Bones had to take a nap or two in between shifts when his vision started crossing. In the long run, Uhura left to get some sleep and said she would be back soon to check back up on him.

Jim stayed where he was.

He felt fatigue trying to crawl its way into his mind. There were tiny whispers about how sweet sleep would feel if he could just sit down and close his eyes, only for a few seconds . . . But he fought them and stayed awake, keeping his eyes trained on Spock. He kept using guilt trips to keep him awake. He reminded himself how he should've been the one on that table, that Spock should've been walking around helping people around the ship right now, that that is exactly what he should be doing as well. But he just couldn't bring himself to do that. He couldn't bear to leave Spock's side, even if by his side was behind a window.

Occasionally he'd rap on the glass when one of the doctors started drifting off on their shift and he would jerk awake, glancing at the window apologetically.

It was around three in the morning, when Captain Kirk was finally starting to fall asleep standing up that things started to go wrong.

Very wrong.

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**Please review! Next chapter will definitely be up by the next review. It gets me motivated, after all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Please read, enjoy, and review. Thanks!**

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It started when the doctor on shift had to change out Spock's oxygen tank for the third time that night. The routine only took a total of five minutes. During the past two switches Spock had still breathed on his own when the mask was removed, though it was more forced and with a lot less oxygen intake. The machine would give soft warning beeps to let those around know that his breathing was dangerously low. However he would never stop breathing completely.

This doctor who was on shift was named Mantle. He was a very skilled doctor who had graduated from the academy in the top five percent. He had thinning gray hair and skin with some wrinkles setting in and wore thin glasses that he didn't need unless he was reading small print. He had done the past two tank switches without a single problem.

After suppressing a yawn, he carefully removed the mask from Spock's face. The quiet beeping started up and he ignored it, dragging the tank back to be refilled. While he was away, even for just a couple minutes, Spock's breathing slowed more and more until finally his chest stopped moving. The machine that monitored his breathing started beeping faster, though not any louder so it didn't wake the others that were dozing off. Those working on the antidote were in a different room entirely.

The lack of oxygen began to take its toll on Spock's body, shutting down piece by piece until finally his heart stopped beating. That's when the heart monitor started blaring, letting out a screech worse than any alarm clock ever was.

Instinctively, Jim's hand whipped out, trying to switch off the alarm, until he realized exactly what machine was making the noise. He felt his own heart stop for a moment as he stared wide eyed at the doctors suddenly becoming frantic.

"Breathing has been down for just over a minute, sir!" the younger nurse informed, quickly flipping through the machine's data. "Heart stopped for a few seconds."

"Dammit, you Vulcan!" Bones cursed under his breath as he jumped out of his chair. He rushed over to the patient and began to perform CPR. Nothing in modern medicine could improve what the traditional cardiopulmonary resuscitation procedure could do.

It wasn't often that Bones had to use CPR on someone. It was rare that someone on the verge of death was brought into the Medical Bay in the first place; usually the person that was brought in had been dead for far too long. The CPR would've done nothing. And it was also extremely rare that someone would give out in the Medical Bay since it was mostly used for treating wounds or diseases, but nothing horribly lethal.

Even so, Bones had been sure to refresh his memory on how to CPR each month, just in case some rare occurrence happened on the ship and he was sure glad he did. Adrenaline rushed through his body and his hands immediately took up a rhythm. Fifteen pumps, then two quick breaths. Fifteen pumps, then two quick breaths.

Jim stood behind the glass, feeling utterly helpless as he watched. He didn't know anything about medicine. He barely knew how to do CPR correctly, and that was just because he had to learn for an emergency in the field. But he still wished he was able to do something to help his first officer. But he couldn't. All he could do was watch as fear clenched at his throat and choked him.

When Doctor Mantle came back with the fresh tank he was shocked. "I-I . . . I didn't know it'd . . ."

"It's okay," Bones grunted as he pumped Spock's chest. "Not your fault."

Even after a full minute of CPR, Spock's vitals didn't improve at all. They had even hooked him back up to the oxygen tank and Bones continued his desperate attempt to restart the Vulcan's heart, but it didn't make a single contraction.

Finally the senior nurse laid a hand on Bones' shoulder. The doctor stopped, his hands still resting on Spock's chest. He let out a shaky breath and his head hung. He had certainly experienced losing patients before, but that was due to some extremely terrible gas poisoning, or a wound where they had lost too much blood to recreate. But this time they had lost him on the life support table. And he wouldn't come back.

Finally Jim opened the door and stepped into the room. Bones looked up at his friend, trying to fight back the pain of defeat from his eyes. The captain's own eyes were encrusted with tears and disbelief as he stared at Spock's lifeless body.

"Fix him." His breathing was heavy and panting from the anxiety that he was receiving from the constant screeching of the flat line. "Bones, it's an order."

"Jim, I'm sorry."

"Fix. Him." He walked over to the doctor, trying to keep a control on his behavior but he could feel that he was slipping.

"I can't."

The captain's arms started to shake and they reached up, clutching McCoy's shoulders, nails digging into his flesh. Bones winced a little at the grip. "I said FIX HIM!" His teeth ground against each other and the pain swirled in his bright blue irises. "I'm giving you a direct order, Doctor, and I am your Captain. I demand that you cure Commander Spock _right this instant!_"

Bones sighed and looked down. "Dammit Jim . . ." His voice didn't have the usual strong anger element to it; instead he just sounded sympathetic and comforting. "I'm a doctor . . . not a miracle worker."

Jim's face lost its rage almost instantly. He looked back at Spock as his hands slowly dropped from the doctor. He clenched his teeth to keep his jaw from trembling. His feet somehow shuffled closer to the Vulcan and he looked at him; looked at his pale face, at his solemn expression, at everything he'd come to know about his friend. A tear finally escaped down the captain's cheek and came to hang on his chin before it fell down onto Spock's hand. Jim wiped it away absently.

_"Emotions aren't necessary to be logical, Captain."_

_"But they sure do help express how I feel in a given situation."_

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**This is not the end! Please review with your opinions and emotions during the reading (it helps me to know if my writing is messing with your emotions at all) and I will post the next chapter as soon as I get another review. Thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

**The first paragraph of this chapter has a big spoiler of STID! If you haven't seen the movie please skip this first paragraph!**

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Captain James T. Kirk had been through a lot of pain. His father had died the day he was born and he had never liked his stepfather. He rarely had contact with his mother now. The person who had convinced him to join Star-Fleet, Christopher Pike, had died by the hands of Kahn. He had even died himself from radiation before being brought back to life by Bones.

But nothing hurt as much as seeing his first officer lying dead on the table.

"There has to be a way," he whispered, hands gripping the metal edge of the table. "There has to be a _way!_"

"I'm sorry, sir," said one of the nurses from the group that had been trying to create the antidote. "We've tried everything. We don't know what the human blood does to the poison but it changes something and makes it extremely hard to identify the acting elements."

Jim closed his eyes and sighed. If this hadn't happened. If he had been more careful, if he hadn't been reckless, if he hadn't _tripped_.

After a short moment the captain stood up straight, trying to settle his breathing. He had to alert the ship of the death of his first officer. They had a right to know and not find out later, long after he was dead.

He walked over to the wall where the intercom was located. When he was sure he could speak without the quake of fear or sorrow, he gulped down a breath of air and clicked on the intercom.

"Attention crew; this is Captain James T. Kirk." His voice emanated from every speaker in the ship, echoing off the walls with the silence of the night. "I apologize for the late hour that I am making this announcement."

_There has to be a way to cure him. The Baykons wouldn't make something that was incurable. What if one of them got shot by accident? They'd just let him die?_

"As most of you are aware, the first officer Spock and myself had gone on a mission earlier today to infiltrate the Baykon military development base."

_If Spock and I were in each others' places, what would he do? Of course, he'd know what to do. Spock always knows what to do, him and his Vulcan brain . . ._

"We had been seen and pursued out of the base."

_How can such little poison kill a man like Spock? The nurse said it herself; it was mostly the blood that had entered his system._

"Commander Spock had gotten shot by a prototype of their bio-weapon."

_There has to be a cure, some kind of medicine with the blood . . . Wait . . . Blood and medicine?_

"I regret to inform that Mr. Spock has . . ."

Jim's voice trailed off and his mind started to whir to life; something that hadn't happened since Spock had gotten shot.

"Jim," Bones whispered. "Please, finish."

"No . . ." the captain's voice was airy, just a whisper of a breath. "No, that'll work . . ."

"What?"

"It'll work!" His tone was suddenly ecstatic and he clicked off the intercom, turning to Bones with a wide grin. "Bones, keep the oxygen mask on Mr. Spock. Make sure oxygen is still entering his system."

"Jim, his heart isn't beating. Oxygen won't get through his system."

"Do it anyway! I think I know how we can save him!"

Jim bolted out of the door, sprinting toward his quarters.

_Let it be there, let it be there . . ._

He nearly smacked into his door before it opened. When he leapt inside he found that his gravity suit, which he had discarded on the floor carelessly, was now gone.

"No, no, no!"

He turned back around and dashed down the halls, off toward the Laundromat. He should've known that the cleaning staff would take his suit. He could only hope that they remembered to check his pockets before throwing it in the wash.

When he arrived upon the Laundromat he looked around for one of the laundresses. The Laundromat was a fairly large room full of washing and drying machines. After all the lieutenants and commanders didn't have time to wash their clothes. It was the laundresses that cleaned for them.

"Excuse me!" he gasped, out of breath, when he found one of the women. She had graying hair but a smooth face and big green eyes.

"May I help you, Captain?" she answered in an elderly voice. Obviously she had been getting injections to smooth out her wrinkles.

"My . . . My gravity suit. Someone took it, probably for cleaning. There was a piece of paper in the pocket. I need it. Do you know who emptied out my pockets?"

"Well, young man, it so turns out that I am the one who emptied your pockets. You should know better than leaving something so important in your pockets when you strip down." She pulled the folded paper out of her apron and held it out to him.

He took it eagerly and opened it up, quickly skimming. "Yes, yes . . . Yes!" He threw up his arms in triumph and even picked up the woman, spinning her around.

"Put me down!" she cried, stunned by his actions. The captain quickly set her down.

"I'm sorry; I'm just so relieved." He grinned and waved to her, taking off back to the Medical Bay.

"Jim!" Bones called when the captain came in. "What is the meaning of these orders?"

"Here. Here; just read this." Jim shoved the paper into Doctor McCoy's hands. He made his way over to Spock, who still lay unmoving with the oxygen mask forcing useless air into his body.

Bones read through the paper, eyes widening. "Oh my God! I can't believe this . . . The poison doesn't have anything to do with his condition. It's only used to preserve the blood."

"What?" Jim hadn't exactly understood what the paper was describing about the process in the first place.

"The bio-weapon is that they send blood into the person's body. AB positive blood. Only people with type AB positive blood can accept the blood, and there are only a miniscule percentage of people in the universe with that type of blood, so their death is almost guaranteed. They shoot enough of the blood into the body using the laser and the body completely rejects the blood . . . But the poison lacing the blood ensures that the 'bad blood' multiplies faster and faster, taking over the body. . . It slowly kills them."

"Oh, wonderful. How do we save him?"

"We have to put enough blood that his body can actually accept back into his blood stream while simultaneously draining enough of the bad blood to be overrun by the acceptable kind."

"Then let's get it done."

Bones sighed. "Jim, you don't quite understand . . . Spock has the rarest blood type out there besides AB positive."

"What's that, negative?"

"No . . . He has O negative. His blood is acceptable to anyone but his body can only handle O negative blood."

Jim thought for a moment and his eyebrows furrowed together. "Wait . . . Don't I have O blood?"

"Yes, Jim. O negative."

The captain's eyes lit up. He couldn't believe his luck. "Then come on! Take my blood!"

"Jim, you're going to be drained of a lot of blood. We won't take enough to kill you, but you're going to be in a lot of pain and really tired."

"I don't care; do it."

"We can't guarantee his survival either, Jim. He's been gone for a long time."

"Then do this quickly so he won't be gone much longer."

Bones gulped and nodded.

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**Comments are greatly appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I tried to make this chapter somewhat scientifically correct, but in all honesty if what happened to Spock ever actually happened to someone they wouldn't survive. Oh well, that's what the wonderful world of fiction is about. Please review with your opinion on the story and anything else included. Thank you!**

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The captain was strapped into a chair in the Medical Bay. He had a pitcher of fruit juice with a tube coming out of it stuck into his mouth and Bones began to prep his arm for the needle.

"What's this for?" Jim asked, his voice slightly obscured by the tube.

"We're taking a lot of blood out of you, Jim. It'd be good if you don't pass out until you really have to. This will keep your blood sugar high enough to keep you alert. Once you pass out we know that you can't give any more without risking serious health damages."

"Wonderful."

"Just drink."

The captain sucked sip after sip of the juice as Bones slipped the needle into his arm. Jim looked away, not really wanting to see something sharp being inserted into his body, and instead focused on Spock. He was still lying there, as lifeless as a doll.

"Doctor McCoy!" Uhura cried as she rushed in, still in her nightgown. Jim glanced at her in surprise. She stopped. "Captain, why did you make that strange announcement earlier? What's going on . . .?"

"Spock needs blood," Jim explained. Her attention immediately switched over to the Vulcan.

"Oh my God . . ." Her eyes widened as she walked over, hand reaching up and covering her mouth. "Is he . . .?"

"Only for about two and a half minutes," Bones interjected, switching on the machine to suck Jim's blood. A steady stream of red liquid came through the tube and began filling a small cylindrical container on top of the machine. "We believe we know how to cure him."

"Please don't kill me taking too much blood," Jim said. "I've seen the result. It looks painful."

McCoy nodded and walked over, beginning the same process with Spock, sucking out his blood into a separate machine.

"Why are you taking their blood?" Uhura murmured.

"Spock got blood he couldn't accept put into his body," McCoy sighed, not wanting to explain it all over again. "So we're draining him of as much blood as we can and putting Jim's blood into him."

"I'll donate too."

He looked up at her. "I'm sorry Lieutenant, but you have type B blood. Spock can only accept O type blood, which is what Jim here has. In fact only about three people on this entire ship has the type of blood Spock needs. Can you get them for me? Jim couldn't possibly donate enough blood."

He gave her the names and less than a minute later two more people were getting their blood drained.

"Do you think Spock'll be okay . . .?" Jim slurred as he gulped down some more juice. Half the pitcher was gone already.

"I think so, Jim. I don't think he'll have any brain damage if we get the new blood into his body."

Bones finally removed the needle from Spock's arm and began pumping blood into his body. Here came the tricky part. He had to try to restart Spock's heart, but if he did it too early, and there wasn't enough blood to circulate through the Vulcan's body, he could very well die again and wouldn't be able to be brought back.

When McCoy believed it to be the right time, he began to pump on the Vulcan's chest once again. Fear swirled in his gut at the thought that perhaps Spock had been gone for too long. Maybe his soul wouldn't be able to find its way back into the shell that was the body.

_Stop it, _he scolded himself. _You're talking rubbish. A soul isn't something that uses the body like a vessel. Use your head, man!_

He pumped on Spock's chest thirty-two times. He was just about to give up and let out a defeated sigh.

"Two more," Jim mumbled, eyelids starting to droop. Bones looked up.

"What? Jim, you've given too much blood—"

"Two more . . . Do it two more times . . ."

McCoy bit his lip. He didn't know what Jim had going through his mind but he did as his friend asked. He looked back down at the Vulcan.

_One pump._

Nothing.

_Two pump._

Nothing. There was nothing happening. Nothing . . .

Wait.

A quiet beeping filled the air and the doctor looked up to find the heart monitor had started up once again. It was faint, but growing in power.

Suddenly the Vulcan's body arched upward, back slowly rising off of the table as his body voluntarily took a breath. His breaths were deep and his exhales had a bit of coughs with the excess air as his body tried to get reacquainted with the business of breathing.

A small relieved laugh escaped from McCoy as he stepped back from the Vulcan. They had done it. They had saved the damn Vulcan.

Uhura buried her face into her hands in relief. She had been so frightened that Spock would be lost forever.

"I think his body can recreate the rest of the blood," Bones said quietly, his breaths still coming out as tiny snickers. He removed the needles out of the first two volunteers and let them leave, telling them to rest well and eat a cookie or two. "I can't believe this actually worked, Jim—"

He stopped when he saw his captain, head resting lazily against his shoulder and sleepy eyes staring at Spock as the Vulcan breathed.

_He made it . . ._ Jim thought, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips. His vision was starting to darken and blur.

Bones walked over hurriedly and took the needle out of his arm. "Jim? Jim, answer me."

"Hmm . . .?" The captain's eyes lazily glanced up at him and then back to Spock like he couldn't concentrate on anything.

McCoy immediately checked his friend's pulse. "Dammit!" Uhura walked over worriedly.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"His pulse is astronomically fast." He ground his teeth. "I should've known he could hold on more than should be possible for someone his size. Jim, tell me, how do you feel?"

Jim blinked a few times and tried to look up at them but he felt like his world was tipping sideways and waving like ripples in water. Bones noticed his dilated eyes. The captain offered a garbled answer before his eyes slowly closed.

"Jim . . . Jim!"

_I hope Spock is okay . . . _he thought wearily as he slipped into unconsciousness.

_"Captain. Captain . . .!" _

The voices seemed a thousand miles away.

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**There is one more chapter left! Please review with your thoughts.**


	8. Chapter 8

**There is a small part in this chapter with a huge spoiler for STID. I apologize to those of you that have yet to see the movie. Please read and review.**

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Jim's eyes opened slightly and immediately shut, being met with seemingly bright light. Finally he fought the light and forced his eyes open, though he squinted. He noted that he was in a bed in Medical Bay. His eyes slid around lazily and found Spock sitting in the bed next to him, awake and alert, doing some paperwork.

"Should've known you'd work even when you narrowly miss death," Jim chuckled tiredly. Spock turned toward him.

"Captain, you are awake."

"Yes, I am."

"Doctor McCoy has explained what you did for me while I was unconscious. I wanted to express my gratitude."

Jim gave a tiny laugh and rolled his eyes. "You can't speak simply even when it's just us?"

"Would you mind clarifying what you mean by that, Captain?"

The captain opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Bones walked in. "Jim! You're awake."

"Everyone is so sharp today, noticing that." He gave a smirk to compliment his sarcasm.

"It's not a good idea to make fun of the doctor with all the medicine to kill you." The doctor checked over his vitals. "Well, you're a lot better than you were last night."

"What time is it?"

"About seven in the evening the day after you passed out."

"I was out that long?"

"Yes. You had lost a lot of blood. Since I demanded that the Vulcan rest as well, he appointed Sulu as acting captain."

Spock added, "I hope it is a choice you allow."

Jim smiled and nodded. "Yes, good thinking, Spock."

"Now I know you've been out for a while," Bones said, scribbling something onto a paper on a clipboard at Jim's bedside, "but you should still rest up for another twenty-four hours until you feel completely rested. Doctor's orders; got it?"

"Yeah, thanks, Bones."

McCoy cracked a grin. "It's nice to have you back, Jim." With that he left the Medical Bay, leaving just Jim, Spock, and a couple nurses who were working on organizing medicines.

"Captain," Spock finally said, "I have been pondering over something ever since I awoke from my revival."

"What's that?"

"Back when we had infiltrated the Baykon's base, we had seen the humans who were killed for their blood." Jim's face dropped when he recalled the memory. "I know that when death comes humans feel anger about death, confusion as to why they are dying, loneliness because they know they will be alone, and overall fear for they do not know where they will go after death. But I have realized that sadness also accompanies it. When I had first discovered this I was confused."

"You were?"

"Yes. I did not know why they should be sad when they die. I thought it perhaps was because the person was sad to be leaving the world behind. However with my recent passing I discovered my own reasoning as to why there is sadness behind death."

"And what is the Vulcan's opinion on death?"

"I was sad because I thought about how sad everyone else would be when I died."

Jim blinked, staring at the Vulcan incredulously. He thought that Spock would say something philosophical he had once read; maybe Socrates or one of those long dead Greeks, but he never expected to hear something like that.

"As I was slipping away I remembered when you yourself had lost your life, Captain." Spock's voice had become fainter. "When you were dying I couldn't help but feel extreme sorrow as you were passing, as well as the other four emotions that accompany death. I had been confused, as to why it had been happening to you of all people on the ship, but sadder than anything. Then while I was dying myself I felt another overwhelming sadness wash over me. I realized it was because I didn't want anyone else on the Enterprise to go through what I had felt with your passing. It pained me to even imagine any of them feeling as I had felt."

Jim stared at the Vulcan for several minutes, neither of them offering up anything else to say. The captain couldn't believe that Spock had thought of something in such a _human _way. It amazed him, really.

"If you don't mind my asking, could you clarify what your previous question had meant?" Spock inquired, picking up their previous conversation.

Jim was silent for a moment, put off by the sudden change of topic, before replying, "You're formal."

"I am formal. It is the proper form of speaking taught to me by my Vulcan ancestors."

"Yeah but we're friends, right?"

"We have referred to each other as such on several occasions."

"So you don't have to be so professional about me if you don't want to."

"I do not completely understand what you are trying to convey."

"Instead of saying 'show my gratitude' you can just say 'thank you', Spock."

"'Thank you'?"

"That's right."

"I'm not sure I am prepared to give up my Vulcan way of speaking, Captain."

"That's another thing."

"Would you please clarify?"

"My name is Jim, Spock," he chortled. "You don't always have to refer to me as 'Captain'."

"I apologize, Captain."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Fine, talk however you want." He settled back into bed and closed his eyes. Within minutes he had drifted off.

Spock continued to work on his papers for a while until he eventually set down his pen and looked back at his captain, thinking about what he had said. He looked away and murmured quietly, slowly, as if the words were foreign to him:

"Thank you . . . Jim."

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**A somewhat cute-sy, Spirk-ish ending. I really hope you guys liked the story! Please give your final overall review of the story, What you felt during it, how you liked it, etc. Thank you very much!**


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